Teacher Feedback

First Draft Feedback - Teacher Feedback


Mrs Brookes


WWW - Camera shots, Editing and Mise En Scene.

EBI - link between intro and tattoo where is that? Voice over a little to complex maybe shorter and shorter. When you walk into the parlour, you need intro. Job title needed. Lower tattooing sound. Cut out "yeah". Need more tattoo scenes.



Mrs Field


WWW - Shots are very well done. Editing is good.

EBI - Need to simplify the narration at the beginning of the film opening. Improve sound of the tattoo noise. Job titles should be added. Need to remove the constant "yeah".


Mr Amato


Really like the titles but can be positioned better.

Feels TV Documentary rather than a film, this could be because of the instant voice over. More instant talking and change the font that you use as it goes on and on and I do not like the late titles. Subject matter hands you some potentially beautiful shots that wait really evident.


Improvements from Feedback


We can improve from this feedback as we are able to go into other tattoo parlours and we are able to film more tattoos and we can film other tattoo parlours to change the scenery and we are able to film for filler shots and to make the documentary film more interesting by using different scenes. We are able to cut out the "yeah" throughout the interview and we will use subtitles to be able to understand what Alexsandrs Hirsfelds (the tattoo artist) his answers to the questions which we may display almost as subtitles to understand the questions and the answers and this will solve the problem of not understanding his voice clearly. We will be attempting to reduce the sound of the tattoo gun and we will most likely use a program like audacity to remove or to quieten the noise of the tattoo gun.